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Jennifer Aniston & Somerset Maugham on Love Lasting Forever

anistonmaughan

Tea: Plantation Mint

Music: Edvard Grieg: Peer Gynt Suite #2 Op 55

Quote: “We are not the same persons this year as the last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.” W. Somerset Maugham

Or for a modern day perspective:

Quote: “Whoever said that every relationship has to last for ever? That’s hoping for too much.” Jennifer Aniston

The celebrity gossip following Jennifer Aniston’s series of breakups, from John Mayer, to Vince Vaughn, and even before that Brad Pitt, begs the question: where is her happily ever after? Has she finally found it with Justin Theroux?  Or is she destined to be alone?  In considering Jennifer Aniston’s situation, I am not going to suggest that it is because she is fickle, works in the superficial world of Hollywood, or chooses the wrong men. All are possibilities mind you, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. Instead I would like to recognize the striking similarity in her views on the difficulty…



July 22, 2011   1 Comment

Twenty and Never Been Kissed: Perplexed in Portland Wonders Why

Emma & Knightley

Emma & Knightley

Tea: Plantation Mint
Music: Frank Bridge: Sir Roger de Coverly

Quote: Emma argued, “I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing! but I never have been in love; it is not my way, or my nature; and I do not think I ever shall. And, without love, I am sure I should be a fool to change such a situation as mine. Fortune I do not want; employment I do not want; consequence I do not want.”
Harriet responded: “But still, you will be an old maid! and that’s so dreadful!”
Jane Austen’s Emma

Question:

Dear Erica,

I am slightly concerned about my younger cousin. She is twenty years old, and has yet to go out on a first date! She is very pretty and smart, and I am unsure what the problem may be. My only clue is that when asked why she said no to a potential suitor, she said she just didn’t have that “oh…



May 18, 2011   No Comments

The 19th Century Frenemy: Lucy Steele Found in Florida

Erte

Erte

Tea:  Acai Blueberry White Tea
Music:  Arcangelo Corelli: Concerto Grosso No. 10


Quote:
Elinor was sorry to see them.  Their presence always gave her pain, and she hardly knew how to make a very gracious return to the overpowering delight of Lucy in finding her STILL in town.
“I should have been quite disappointed if I had not found you here STILL,” said she repeatedly, with a strong emphasis on the word.  ”But I was almost sure you would not leave London yet awhile; though you TOLD me, you know, at Barton, that you should not stay above a MONTH.  And now to be sure you will be in no hurry to be gone.  I am amazingly glad you did not keep to YOUR WORD.”
Elinor perfectly understood her, and was forced to use all her self-command to make it appear that she did NOT.
Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensiblity

Question:

Dear Erica,

I am a Freshman at FIU and I’m beginning to be suspicious of my roommate(let’s call her Nikki).  She doesn’t have that many female friends, but…



April 28, 2011   1 Comment

Is Passion Sustainable in a Healthy Relationship?

Doisneau, 1950.

Doisneau, 1950.

Tea: Pomegranate White Tea
Music: Jose Gonzalez: Heartbeats

Quote: Before long, Tom and Polly were sitting side by side, enjoying the blissful state of mind which usually follows the first step out of our work-a-day world, into the glorified region wherein lovers rapturously exist for a month or two. Louisa May Alcott’s An Old Fashioned Girl

Or for some tough love:

Mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step; for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair. C.S. Lewis

Question:

Dear Erica,

In relationships, do you have to sacrifice passion for sustainability? Is it possible to settle down and have a healthy relationship with the same guy who makes you feel like the heroine in a romance novel?

Best,

Baffled in Brooklyn

My Response:

Dear Baffled in Brooklyn:

A tricky question. If you see my post Princes and Pomp from January, I advise my readers to be wary of missing out on the love of your life because you are looking for some idealized hero who does not exist. However,…



February 26, 2011   1 Comment

Old Fashioned Remedies for the Doldrums

watercolor

Tea: Peach Tea
Music: Trouble by Cat Stevens

Quote: “Things worry me sometimes, but I just catch up a broom and sweep, or wash hard, or walk, or go at something with all my might, and I usually find that by the time I get through the worry is gone, or I `ve got courage enough to bear it without grumbling,” answered Polly. An Old Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott

While nearly every young woman has read the classic Little Women, another great work by Louisa May Alcott, An Old Fashioned Girl, is too often overlooked. Polly Milton is the story’s charming heroine, an old fashioned country girl, who wins over her rich relations and the adorable Tom Shaw with her sweetness, humour, and a healthy dose of common-sense (reflected in the quote above). By and large, a great deal of worry and unhappiness is caused by thinking too much of one’s own personal grievances. Polly’s way of dealing with her worries may be old-fashioned (even for her time-and we are talking…


January 22, 2011   No Comments